DYING THE WAY YOU WANT TO, Part IV | VIEW FROM 80

Many memories linger about special moments spent with dying persons and their families. I remember being a constant presence to a friend whose wife was dying with ovarian cancer. She had a terrible death. I can still remember her breathing stop, then start again until finally she took ?her last breath. I remember the time I spent in ICU with a wife and daughter who could not let their loved one go, although death was imminent. Gently I asked them to give him permission to die, for that was? his?wish. When they did, he died within minutes. I had visited Jack many times as he lay dying on the couch. I knew he was near the end. So I told the senior pastor to be on alert, since I had? to be out of town. It seemed as if Jack had died, so his wife called Steve and he said, ?Jack, it?s your pastor.? Whereupon Jack roused up, and said, ?Good God has it come to that!? And died. A dear lady in this community would not gently into the good night and resisted death, even though there was no hope. Only the kind compassion of Hospice eased her way into the next world.? I have carefully written out my wishes for my dying, the disposition of my body and the memorial service. Some them are included in the Dear Brothers: Letters Facing Death, Five Wishes and other memos for my wife and family. I hope to die at home, with only my wife, my daughter and sons (if possible) present. I do not want a? parade of visitors to say goodbye, unless I request them. I will be cremated and I assure you, there will be no viewing at funeral home, only a reception after the Memorial Service. I have carefully outlined the hymns and readings for my Memorial Service (My only regret is that I won ?t be there!). I have left specific instructions about where my cremains are to buried in this earth, and words for my gravestone. Job said, ?Naked I have come from my mother?s womb, and naked shall I return.? (Job 1:21). All I take with me when I leave this world is the person I became?by ?the grace of God.? AMEN. There is a sense of peace that follows making these plans for one?s dying and death.? Now it is?facing the next act of life, ?always being prepared when the curtain falls and this life ends.

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Dr. Richard L. Morgan grew up on the campus of the University of Pennsylvania, and earned degrees from Davidson College, Wake Forest University, M.A. in Counseling and three degrees from Union Theological Seminary, Richmond, Va. including a Ph.D, in Early Christian History. He served pastorates in West Virginia and North Carolina where he developed a dynamic older adult ministry. While a pastor in Lenoir, NC he was named, "Man of the Year' by the city of Lenoir for his work with older adults, including building a Senior center for the community. He also served as professor of Religion at Peace College, Raleigh, NC and Presbyterian College, SC and taught Psychology at Mitchell Community College, Statesville, NC and was Director of Counseling at Western Piedmont Community College, Morganton, NC. He also served as a pastoral counselor at the Life Enrichment Center, under the auspices of the Baptist Hospital Pastoral Care department, where he did his Certified Pastoral Education work. After his "retirement," Dr. Morgan devoted himself to writing, and since 1991 has written 14 books, including best sellers, No Wrinkles on the Soul and Remembering Your Story.' His next book, No Act of Love is Ever Wasted: Caregiving for People with Dementia, was co-authored with Dr. Jane M. Thibault will be published by Upper Room Books in the Fall of 2009. All of his published works are described on this web site. At present, Dr. Morgan is a resident at Redstone Highlands, a continuing care retirement community near Pittsburgh, PA. He continues his writing and is highly involved with doing Life Bios for independent living residents and worship and pastoral care for persons with Alzheimer's disease or other forms of dementia. Married to Alice Ann Morgan, a certified Director of Christian Education, they have 4 children and 10 grandchildren. This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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